RANTS no. 101006

Someone I know got herself knocked up for the second time. Actually, nasa 6 or 7 months na siya on the way. This someone is not just any random classmate or friend. Infact, she's my barkada. Nakwento naman nya samin na she has no idea how to tell Tita, her mom na she AGAIN is carrying a little human being inside her tummy - UNMARRIED.

You might think na super manang ko naman mag-react. I know, I know. Girls get knocked up every single day, 3 babies are born every minute, and trust me, I really would like to believe na our youth don't engage in premarital sex and/or they value the sanctity of marriage before going under the sheets and make love. But SADLY, according to UP Population Institute, as cited by mukamo.com (2007), 1 out 4 Filipinos aged 15-24 do engage in sex before marriage. Take note, 3 years ago pa ito. How much more ngayon and in the coming years pa? You might think nanaman na nagmamalinis ako. Nope! I'm 22 years old and I have never engaged in activities which might lead to premarital sex nor the sex itself. For me, sa panahon ngayon, I could say na ACHIEVEMENT ito! Tama?

Anyway, balik tayo sa barkada ko. 2 nights ago, I texted her asking how's the pregnancy going and she replied naman texting back na ok lang daw and hindi daw mashado halata tiyan nya. Tinanong ko rin if alam na ba ni Tita and Tito (who are abroad) na magkakaron na ulit ng bagong member ang family and this is what she texted me:

"Hindi pa nila alam. Saka na lang nila malalaman pag-uwi nila. Ok na yon, sila na bahala umintindi. Ayaw ko masyado mag-isip nanay ko."

Sobrang na-upset ako. Actually, nairita ako sakanya ng bongga kase I know this girl. She is one of the matatalinos in class. She would always excel in our subjects, would always raise her hand if may recitation and I know na she's better than having 2 kids with a man who isn't her husband YET! To top it off, she is freakin' unemployed! Ano ba? Naiinis ba ako? Oo naiinis ako! Galit ako? Oo, galit ako. May magagawa ba ako? Wala. Kase buhay nya yon, at walang ibang nagdedesisyon sa mga dapat at hindi nya dapat gawin kundi siya lang.

Isa pang ikinasama ng loob ko, eh yung ginawa nya sa mga magulang nya. Imagine, kung ako yun. Uuwi ako sa Pilipinas, naka-set ang mind ko sa pagbabakasyon ko matapos ang dalawang taon na pagiging OFW sa ibayong dagat. Bonding kasama ang pamilya. Tapos mamukat mukat ko, yung anak ko, buntis at manganganak na? Eh wala yatang normal na tao ang hindi tataas ang BP at aatakihin eh.

Eto lang ang akin. She made a big mistake by getting herself pregnant. She's making a bigger mistake even by not telling it to her parents. Diba? Fine, alam ng sister nya. Pero kase parents are parents. They don't exist para paglaruan at lokohin. Kung hindi kayang respituhin ang mga magulang bilang magulang, at least respituhin sila bilang TAO.. They deserve to know when their daughters are having a baby. Hindi ko sasabihing I never went behind my parents' back kase I did. A LOT OF TIMES! And I'm extremely sorry for doing that sakanila pero definitely, sasabihin ko if I'm in trouble. AND YES, BEING PREGNANT AGAIN, IS TROUBLE!

Arrrgh. Naiinis talaga ako!


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Written Love

TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN!

10 years ago, while the whole world was scared of the Y2K and thinking of ways how to put down the millennium bug on computers, one Friday afternoon, after worship service, just when they're about to go home, some of our Churchmates were persecuted and brought to jail by the moslem police since they've found out that we have a so called "underground Church" at our Villa. (Saudi Arabia is a very conservative country)


As the head of our Church, upon hearing the news, my Dad immediately prepared himself, packed a couple of clothes and brushed his teeth. He was so sure that he will be taken too by the Mutawas. Never ko kinakitaan ng TAKOT ang Daddy that day. He just prayed.

As far as I can remember, marami pang natirang tao sa loob ng villa though mga families na lang naman. My Dad told them what he knew and the rest was history.

Actually, 1 Church member who had the chance to talk to my Father even said that the authorities know every single thing going on inside our house. They even asked him "Who is your Christian leader?" something like that. Ang vague ng araw na yon sa utak ko, flashes lang ang naaalala ko.

Mom was I think 3 months pregnant then with a baby girl. What's odd was, she also didn't show signs na natatakot sya for the life of my Dad. She had faith kay Lord na hindi Niya kami pababayaan at this time.

Basta what happened was, in one week, all the lights were turned off sa buong villa. We didn't even talked loudly. Lahat ng Bibles were put into black plastic bags and distributed to different houses. Yung mga files ng computer about sa Church were all put to "hidden", musical instruments which we use during praise and worship were all bagged out, the Church which used to be a big room was converted into 2 rooms para if by any chance na pasukin ang villa ng mga authorities, wala sila makikita. We still did our everyday routine BUT WITH CAUTION.

1 week passed and thank God, my Dad wasn't brought in for interrogation. Prayers were in-depth during those times. Some people were getting paranoid about the situation, but my Dad's faith was unshakable. 2 weeks after, nothing happened. 3 weeks, still no news. Hindi ko na maalala when it happened pero the people who were brought to jail was pinalaya rin. Hanggang sa balik sa dati nanaman ang lahat sa dati.
 
Dahil sa nangyari, naisip ni Mommy na ipangalan ang FAITH sa upcoming member of the family since faith really was the only reason for us to live just like any other day. EVERYBODY WALKED BY FAITH and LIVED BY FAITH for that 3 long weeks.

September 8, 2000
Baby Faith came into our world. I became an Ate once again. Ang bilis nya lumaki. As a child hindi sya mahirap kausapin. She would crack the family up every time. Hindi sya mahirap alagaan though minsan sinusumpong. She was the perfect little sister an Ate could wish for. AND I HAVE HER! :)

FAST FORWARD September 8, 2010
Faith is now 10 years old. A lot taller than the Faith I saw 10 years ago. Her arms and legs are a lot longer now. She doesn't need a candy to settle things anymore. We don't need to sing for her to go to sleep anymore. She knows how to take care of herself na. Knows what color of shirt ang teterno sa color ng leggings nya. And what color of legging ang teterno sa flip-flops nya. Faith is full of surprises. She never fails to show me everyday na kapatid ko nga sya. The way she speaks, the way she moves, the way she laughs, the way she sees things.. It's like I'm looking at my self 12 years ago. She is indeed a gift from God. A gift that I will forever cherish and love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAITH! I pray na you would grow up according to God's plan and that you honor Mommy and Daddy as you age. I'm sorry if minsan napapagalitan kita. Kung hindi ko gagawin yon, no one will. Alam mo namang busy si Daddy sa hardware, si Mommy malayo si Kuya may sariling mundo. hehe. Wag sana sasama ang loob mo everytime napapagsabihan kita kase I don't get mad naman for no reason diba? Minsan lang pag may sumpong! :))) May the Lord would always fill your heart with love and happiness. You are blessed kaya be a blessing to people rin.

Daddy, Mommy, Ate and Kuya will be forever thankful kay Lord for your life.
We love you so so much.

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Just came home from Lola B's 2nd dialysis session for this week. Boy was I tired! Grabe! OFFICIAL FAMILY DRIVER talaga ako! haha! I want to commend St. Therese Dialysis Center. Bait ng nurses and residente. Though may questions ang Tita ko na hindi masyado nasagot nung isang nurse.

I love how Lola fights her end-stage renal disease. Hindi ko alam kung umiiyak sya kanina kase mejo glossy yung eyes nya. Thank God for her life! Ngayon alam ko na kung san nakuha ng Mommy ko yung pagiging matapang nya.

Go Lola! Hanggang kaya ng katawan mo mag-dialysis, you can count on the family to help. We may be short financially, sobrang yaman naman natin sa man power! Labyu La! :)


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Atehood file no. 9010

Kakatapos ko lang kausapin ng masinsinan si Kidsister. Kanina kase, habang naghihintay kami maluto ang hotdog na tig-7 peysos sa barbekyuhan ni Tita Grasya, may nakita syang dalawang aso na magkatalikod. Nakita ko rin naman. They were obviously making offsprings doggy style.

I didn't make a fuzz out of it pero I can see she's showing curiosity. Though alam naman nya na dogs hump each other kase we had puggies before. Ang explanation ko sakanya everytime na nagha-hump yung dalawang dogs namin, naglalaro lang. Hindi naman ako nag-lie since both male yung dogs namin non. Hindi naman talaga for reproduction ang reason ng humping nila.

Going back sa situeyshen, yung mga dogs na nakita namin, nasa last phase na wherein magkatalikod na sila. I guess the bitch was in pain kase walang tigil sya sa pag-tahol habang tinatry nya kumawala sa churchur nung male dog.

"Ate, ano kaya yung nakakabit sakanila?"

"Baket hindi matanggal?"

"Kawawa naman!"

Paulit-ulit lang na ganyan yung tanong nya sakin. Paulit-ulit rin naman yung sagot ko na "Magkakahiwalay rin sila..." Nangyari to lahat habang inaantay ko maluto yung order namin. Inabot na samin ni Tita G. yung food. Sakto, nagbuntong hininga si Kidsister. A sigh of relief malamang kase nagkahiwalay na nga yung dalawang aso.

Nagulat na lang ako kase umiyak yung kapatid ko. Well, iyakin naman talaga sya dati pa when it comes to animals. In fact, naiyak sya nung napanood nya ito at yung isa pang video na hindi ko na makita na tungkol rin sa dogs. Anyway, tumambling na kami pauwi kase tinatanong na sya anong nangyari ng mga tao na bumibili rin sa barbekyuhan.

Pagdating sa house, I sat her down sa room. During this time, ngumangawa pa rin sya. Honestly, habang iniintay ko sya kumalma, iniisip ko yung mga right words to say and right way kung pano i-explain. Naisip ko na chance na rin ito para umpishan ko sya sa sex education since going 10 yrs old naman na sya in weeks. Nung bata kase ako, taboo sa bahay namin ang any topic regarding sex. Yes, it's safe to say na our parents are kindda conservative sa topic na yon. I don't want my Kidsister to learn these things outside our home kaya kahit na kakaba kaba ako, tinry ko pa rin i-explain sakanya.

Mejo kalma naman na sya though humihikbi-hikbi parin. I started to ask her yung reason kung bakit sya umiyak. She said "eh kase akala ko hindi matatanggal". I told her then na it is a normal thing for dogs na mag-hump kase it's their own way to make puppies. Pinaintindi ko sakanya na for reproduction purposes yung nakita nya, na after a few months, makikita namin na may bago ng puppies yung dog ng kapitbahay. Inexplain ko na rin sakanya na isa pang term for reproduction process is sex, which is ginagawa ng mga tao para makapag-reproduce ng babies.

Tahimik lang sya all the time. Tinanong ko kung anong iniisip nya, kung may iba pa syang tanong. Pinaulit ko sakanya yung explanation ko and according to my assessment, naintindihan naman nya.

Being an Ate is not easy talaga. Given na ako pa yung panganay. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Masaya pa nga ako kase I get to explain things kay Kidsister na yung mga hindi nya maintindihan. I thank God for the knowledge and wisdom. :)


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Spiritual Freedom

DISCLAIMER: Ngayon pa lang, sasabihin ko na ha. This post may be freaky and/or creepy sainyo but I just need to post what happened to me/us a while back at Church. Plus, I opted to use some words in ENGLISH kase "satan's legion" is less scarier than "kampon ni satanas". Though wala naman pinagkaiba ang idea. And please, don't think like sharing this entry was easy for me 'cause it's not. In fact, habang ginagawa ko ang entry na 'to, naiiyak pa rin ako. 

Since it's a holiday today, the Church conducted a  seminar on Spiritual Awareness. Basically, enlightenment ito para sa mga attendees about what type of spirits have entered and feeds in our system. 2in1 ang event na ito actually. One is we get to assess ourselves tungkol sa mga sins namin and 2nd, deliverance from those sins.


Sumali kaming magkaka-patid including our bagong kasambahay since Christian rin naman sya. 1st part was the lecture. SOBRANG DRAGGING talaga, as iiiin! Muntik na ko pumunta sa sasakyan para umidlip muna. Kaya lang I know na I needed to be there para I could ready myself na rin in the deliverance.

Deliverance kase is simply defined as "a rescue from bondage or danger". There are many different types of evil spirits kase with different characteristics. We all are familiar with the 7 deadly sins right? Guess what, THERE'S MORE! Hindi ko alam pero as I walk my faith, I get to realize na demons are stronger than I THOUGHT they were. Merong spirit of infirmity, spirit of lying, spirit of fear, perverse spirit, jealous spirit, haughty spirit, and a platoon lot more. I knooow! SCARY talaga!

BTW, don't get me wrong here ha. DELIVERANCE IS NOT EXORCISM! A demon cannot possess/own somebody. Pwede lang nila tayo ma-occupy and it is us who can cast them out since we are empowered to do so.

You might ask me, "Chelle, why do you need to be delivered? May sa demonyo ka ba?"

Answer is, I am a part of the music ministry at our Church. I stand in front of the congregation to be an instrument of the Lord for them to reach the highest peak of praise and worship. If I myself is not worthy and not righteous in the eyes of my God, hindi ko magagampanan yung role ko as a music minister. GETS? And one more thing, yung mga nagmi-ministry kase, kitang kita sila, these people (including me) are the most prone sa evil spirits. I know, you must be raising your brows now and if you're finding this post kindda off, you can hit the x button anytime. But I would really appreciate it if you would hear me out. :)

The first part: LECTURE was veeeeeeery dragging. I was sleepy most of the time but I need to listen and stay awake for me to be prepared.

At around 6pm, the elders of the Church handed out pieces of papers. One paper each attendee. After which, sinabihan kami na isulat yung mga iba't-ibang spirits na feeling namin, meron kami. I wrote down spirit of lying, jealous spirit, spirit of blindness, spirit of bondage, spirit of heaviness and spirit of fear. I know I wrote like I think mga 8 yata.

After non, dinivide kami into 3. The kids and the youth, the young professionals and the adults. And then, group pa by 4's. In each group, may isang minister. We were given like 10mins to discuss within ourselves what is in that paper. I was already scared pre-deliverance pa lang. Alam ko na kase yung stories and yung mga nangyayari. I know what to expect, I just don;t know what to feel.

By 6:45, everyone stood up and we sang a worship song muna. Sobrang kinakabahan na talaga ako for some strange reason. And then nag-start na. The minister shouted "SPIRIT OF BONDAGE! Spirit of bondage! GO OUT! Wala kang karapatan sa katawang yan! GO OUT!" Nung narinig ko yun, I immediately cried together with all the people in the room I suppose. I will not elaborate na kung baket ako may spirit of bondage pero seryoso, may iba talagang feeling. BTW, hindi lang isa yung nagmiminister ha. All the Church elders together with the ministry coordinators and Pastors were there (except my Dad). And then "SPIRIT OF FEAR! UMALIS KA! SPIRIT OF FEAR!" When spirit of fear was called to leave, I was bawling. Sobrang non-stop iyak talaga! Inisip ko lahat ng fears ko, and I casted them all out. I know I have to say it loudly na I cast them out pero mejo nahihirapan rin ako kase inuubo ako for weeks na. One spirit was called to leave after another. I was hearing my brother shouting, my kidsister who is just 9y/o was also screaming. I really am out of words to describe what happened.

May time pa na kinailangan ko mag-kneel kase sobrang nakakapagod. To think what I have to do was to speak. Gaya ng sinabi ko kanina, evil spirits were stronger than I thought. But I am waaay more powerful than them. Oo, natakot ako. May nangyari pa na hindi ako makapagsalita sa sobrang iyak, but good thing, ministers were roaming around, helping us to SPEAK UP. I've heard  and speaked the words "in Jesus's name" so many times. You have no idea how strong and mighty those words are. Grabe, AMAZING!

Once in a while, I would check out the people around me. They were either lying on their backs, naka-dapa, naka-salampak sa floor or naka-luhod. LAHAT UMIIYAK. Some even puked. I was also blessed on how the ministers can discern whether the spirits have fled already.

As the deliverance went on, hindi na ako masyado natatakot. And then our head Pastor prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for a victorious battle with the devil. I TELL YOU, THE FEELING WAS SURREAL! I felt sooo tired yet revived at the same time. Imagine, who would have thought that I can fight the devil with just my faith in Jesus Christ and powerful words? I must be a princess in heaven after all. ANAK NG DIYOS, sabi nga.

When we got home, nakwento namin kay Daddy lahat and he was so happy and blessed. I asked him "Da, totoo bang nakikita nyo yung mga spirits?" and he said "Oo naman". I was surprised. He never told us he can see these mad crazy demons. Nakakaloka!

I just pray na God would sustain me. He knows my heart, the deepest part of this heart sings for Him and Him alone. I know, 'cause I was designed that way.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

- Jesus Christ

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Lola's Day Out

Both of my grandparents from Daddy's side died before I was born pa. Ang Papang naman ng Mommy ko, namatay waaaay before pa sila magkakilala ni Daddy pero buhay pa si Mamang aka Lola B.

3 days ago, dumating si Lola B. dito sa Manila from Gen.Santos City. I got to see her last Thursday after not seeing her for like 8 years na. Syempre, just like any other family gatherings, FOOD is all around! Lalo na yung Gen.San's finest... TUNA! May picture picture, chika chika. Opkors, narinig ko nanaman yung "Ang laki mo na!" at "Tumaba ka lalo!" HELLO? I haven't seen them in almost a decade na kaya malamang sa malamang eh lumaki at tumaba ako. EWAN! bahaha! Bitter?! =)))


Anyway, my Lola's actually suffering from kidney failure and according to her physicians, end stage na daw. Though ganon ang diagnosis sakanya, trust me, IT DOESN'T SHOW! Her purpose of coming here is para lagyan sya ng IJ cath or internal jugular catheter for her dialysis which was successfully placed naman yesterday. Hindi na kase nagwowork yung ususal sites since nag-shrink na yung veins nya. Let's not be too medical here shall we? Ang gusto ko lang naman kase i-kwento talaga is...

Upon exiting the hospital kanina, tinuro nya ako and she proudly told the guards and the orderly na naghatid sakanya, "Apo ko yan, nars yan". Sobrang napangiti ako ng bongga as in umabot ng tatlong rounds sa peiz ko! haha! Hindi kase kami masyado close ng Lola ko kaya nung pinagmalaki nya ako sa mga random people,  ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam.

On our way home, nabanggit ni Tita na true-blooded SOLID CERTIFIED Kapamilya si Lola. Kaya naman gora kami sa Mo.Ignacia at inikot ikot ko yung kotche sa ABS-CBN. Hindi na lang kami pumasok kase mejo mabilis na sya mapagod.

Sobrang nagpapasalamat talaga ako kay Lord kase He gave us this opportunity para makasama si Lola ng mejo matagal-tagal. Sabi ni Tita En, baka hanggang pasko pa sila dito. HOW FREAKIN' COOL IS THAT? (yuck, kumokonyo. bahahaha!) First time ko magse-celebrate ng christmas with a grandparent! Ano baaa? Excited na meee! :)


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Super Powers!

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence. Wapaaak! Kumanta? :))) Seryoso na! Naalala ko nung bata pa ko, isa sa maraming tawag ng Mommy ko saken aside from Budang, Pangga, Taglitlit at marami pang iba, madalas nya kong tawaging SIRANIKA. Baket? Kase halos lahat ng laruan ko DAW, eh hindi inaabot ng monthsarry sa bahay namin. Hanggang 10days lang kadalasan ang buhay ng toys ko. Yun ang sabi nya ha. Parang imposible naman para sa isang batang kayut na kayut katulad ko ang mapanira ng toys!


One morning last week, nasira yung electric fan sa kwarto ko. Nasipa ko kase pag-bangon, ayon! Masyadong mabilis ang pangyayari. Hindi ko na maalala. Yeees, parang explenasyon lang ng driver na nakasagasa ng kambing. *eherm eherm*

Fast forward today, nakasira nanaman ako ng fan. This time yung sa kwarto ng mga magulang ko. Anyareh? Seryoso, binaba ko lang yung bilog tapos tumalsik talsik na yung elesi sa loob. AS IN natanggal yung tatlong tipak nya.

Kaya ngayon, natatakot ako tumingin sa salamin kase baka mamaya pagharap ko, kulay green na ako at may masel masel. Wala naman akong naaalalang nakipag-date ako kay The Hulk. OA lang talaga, wala naman kase akong in-exert na effort pero nakasira ako ng dalawang electric fan sa loob ng dalawang linggo. So ano na ko ngayon? Serial killer ng mga electric fan? Ganon? May super powers ba ako na ngayon lang lumalabas? Dati bang super heroes ang mga magulang ko? Kakaloka.

Infairness naman kase, yung una kong fan na nasira last week, 2006 pa. Yung nasira ko naman kanina, 2005 pa. Matagal-tagal na rin ang serbisyo nila. Ano naman ang magagawa ko kung hanggang don lang talaga ang buhay nila.

Tsk! Nonetheless, kinakabahan pa rin ako mamaya pag-uwi ni Daddy! :| Kase kagabi, inayos pa nya yung gulong sa ilalim, kumuha pa sya ng mga turni-turnilyo sa hardware para maayos nya yun.. YARI TALAGA AKO! Maigaaaad! :(((((

Eto sila. Ang walang kalaban-laban kong victims.

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