Thinking The Other Way Around

I may have not been writing stuff lately but that doesn't mean nothing's been happening to me. Actually, the only laptop here in our house crashed thus making it impossible for me to make kwento.

I can never think of any better timing for a come back than today. Here's the thing, have you ever been in a situation where you know what you're about to do is very wrong yet you still go for it? I'm having struggles lately. I know I'm sinning but the problem is, I like doing it. Do I feel guilty afterwards? Yes. It's like a cycle which keeps on happening. I commit the sin, I feel guilty, I run away, I feel convicted, I ask forgiveness. It's the same thing for the past years. I keep doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN! *Insert Taio's voice here* AND IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON! *higher pitch* AND IT GOES ON AND ON AND OOOON! Minsan, naiisip ko na parang niloloko ko lang yung sarili ko. Parang joke time lang lahat ng efforts ko to resist the sin. Honestly, I even think na God wouldn't listen to my prayers of forgiveness anymore dahil paulit-ulit na nga lang.

Guess what, I have done it again. And the guilt is killing me! I thought of praying kaya lang yung feeling ko na baka hindi na ko pakinggan ni Lord, na baka sawa na sya sa mga sorry's ko, made my appointment with Him, a little late. I know I should pray, confess and ask forgiveness for what I have done. It's not much of a sin for man's eyes pero God doesn't care what our sins are. He sees murder and stealing 10 pesos from your Mom EQUAL. Absurd right? I know! But that's His rule. No "but's" for us.

This morning, after I took my kid sister to school on my way home, I kind of contemplated on what I should do next. I even thought of not attending our music ministry practice but at the back of my mind, someone's telling me to turn to the Lord and continue to go to Church. So that is what I did - I prayed and turned to the Lord the soonest I came home. I also then came across this video posted by a friend of mine. It spoke to me like it was meant for me to watch it! It's kinda creepy and amazing how God speaks to us sometimes, I know! but I would be more terrified if He speaks to me like how He spoke to Moses and Samuel. Me hearing voices? That would make me think that I'm having auditory hallucinations before even realizing it was God talking to me.

I have learned the story of Jonah a looooong time ago when I was in a Sunday school class listening to the teacher and having a coloring story book where I would use the black crayon to color the uber big fish thinking it was a whale. But you know what, the story didn't matter as much as it does to me right now. Everything makes sense!

Jonah turning his back against God's plan for him, aware of what he has done, went hiding thinking God won't find him. Realizing his mistakes, he prayed, ask forgiveness and pursued his mission to Nineveh.

My God is the same God who has forgiven Jonah. The same God also forgave the people of Nineveh from their wicked ways. The God who said "MY LOVE IS GREATER THAN MY ANGER". The God who gave His one and only Son for me. The God who gave me EVERYTHING. What made me think He wouldn't listen and forgive me right? All I need to do is sincerely repent.

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I AM LIMITED EDITION!

Walang Church na walang bata. May it be from newborn to toddlers to pre-school children hanggang school aged, MERON ANG BAWAT CHURCH!

3 years ago, nung 3rd year student nurse ako, I would usually sing to crying little children sa mga wards. Songs Barney sing to be exact. And guess what? Most of them would stop crying. Haha! Bukod kase sa maganda ang boses ko, eherm eherm.. Eh, kasing laki rin ako ni Barney! :)))

Anyway, hindi talaga yun ang gusto ko i-share. Nagulat ako kanina sa Church. After the service, this 3 yr old girl named Loraine called me what I thought was "Barney". So I sang her a famous purple dino song. Pero she made me stop singing and shouted Barbie while pointing at me. HUWAW DIBA? Galak na galak talaga ako! Perstaym may tumawag saking BARBIE.

Well I guess I'm a limited edition Barbie after all.

PS. WAG NA KUMONTRA! Bata na ang nagsabi eh. :)))

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Written Love

TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN!

10 years ago, while the whole world was scared of the Y2K and thinking of ways how to put down the millennium bug on computers, one Friday afternoon, after worship service, just when they're about to go home, some of our Churchmates were persecuted and brought to jail by the moslem police since they've found out that we have a so called "underground Church" at our Villa. (Saudi Arabia is a very conservative country)


As the head of our Church, upon hearing the news, my Dad immediately prepared himself, packed a couple of clothes and brushed his teeth. He was so sure that he will be taken too by the Mutawas. Never ko kinakitaan ng TAKOT ang Daddy that day. He just prayed.

As far as I can remember, marami pang natirang tao sa loob ng villa though mga families na lang naman. My Dad told them what he knew and the rest was history.

Actually, 1 Church member who had the chance to talk to my Father even said that the authorities know every single thing going on inside our house. They even asked him "Who is your Christian leader?" something like that. Ang vague ng araw na yon sa utak ko, flashes lang ang naaalala ko.

Mom was I think 3 months pregnant then with a baby girl. What's odd was, she also didn't show signs na natatakot sya for the life of my Dad. She had faith kay Lord na hindi Niya kami pababayaan at this time.

Basta what happened was, in one week, all the lights were turned off sa buong villa. We didn't even talked loudly. Lahat ng Bibles were put into black plastic bags and distributed to different houses. Yung mga files ng computer about sa Church were all put to "hidden", musical instruments which we use during praise and worship were all bagged out, the Church which used to be a big room was converted into 2 rooms para if by any chance na pasukin ang villa ng mga authorities, wala sila makikita. We still did our everyday routine BUT WITH CAUTION.

1 week passed and thank God, my Dad wasn't brought in for interrogation. Prayers were in-depth during those times. Some people were getting paranoid about the situation, but my Dad's faith was unshakable. 2 weeks after, nothing happened. 3 weeks, still no news. Hindi ko na maalala when it happened pero the people who were brought to jail was pinalaya rin. Hanggang sa balik sa dati nanaman ang lahat sa dati.
 
Dahil sa nangyari, naisip ni Mommy na ipangalan ang FAITH sa upcoming member of the family since faith really was the only reason for us to live just like any other day. EVERYBODY WALKED BY FAITH and LIVED BY FAITH for that 3 long weeks.

September 8, 2000
Baby Faith came into our world. I became an Ate once again. Ang bilis nya lumaki. As a child hindi sya mahirap kausapin. She would crack the family up every time. Hindi sya mahirap alagaan though minsan sinusumpong. She was the perfect little sister an Ate could wish for. AND I HAVE HER! :)

FAST FORWARD September 8, 2010
Faith is now 10 years old. A lot taller than the Faith I saw 10 years ago. Her arms and legs are a lot longer now. She doesn't need a candy to settle things anymore. We don't need to sing for her to go to sleep anymore. She knows how to take care of herself na. Knows what color of shirt ang teterno sa color ng leggings nya. And what color of legging ang teterno sa flip-flops nya. Faith is full of surprises. She never fails to show me everyday na kapatid ko nga sya. The way she speaks, the way she moves, the way she laughs, the way she sees things.. It's like I'm looking at my self 12 years ago. She is indeed a gift from God. A gift that I will forever cherish and love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAITH! I pray na you would grow up according to God's plan and that you honor Mommy and Daddy as you age. I'm sorry if minsan napapagalitan kita. Kung hindi ko gagawin yon, no one will. Alam mo namang busy si Daddy sa hardware, si Mommy malayo si Kuya may sariling mundo. hehe. Wag sana sasama ang loob mo everytime napapagsabihan kita kase I don't get mad naman for no reason diba? Minsan lang pag may sumpong! :))) May the Lord would always fill your heart with love and happiness. You are blessed kaya be a blessing to people rin.

Daddy, Mommy, Ate and Kuya will be forever thankful kay Lord for your life.
We love you so so much.

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Spiritual Freedom

DISCLAIMER: Ngayon pa lang, sasabihin ko na ha. This post may be freaky and/or creepy sainyo but I just need to post what happened to me/us a while back at Church. Plus, I opted to use some words in ENGLISH kase "satan's legion" is less scarier than "kampon ni satanas". Though wala naman pinagkaiba ang idea. And please, don't think like sharing this entry was easy for me 'cause it's not. In fact, habang ginagawa ko ang entry na 'to, naiiyak pa rin ako. 

Since it's a holiday today, the Church conducted a  seminar on Spiritual Awareness. Basically, enlightenment ito para sa mga attendees about what type of spirits have entered and feeds in our system. 2in1 ang event na ito actually. One is we get to assess ourselves tungkol sa mga sins namin and 2nd, deliverance from those sins.


Sumali kaming magkaka-patid including our bagong kasambahay since Christian rin naman sya. 1st part was the lecture. SOBRANG DRAGGING talaga, as iiiin! Muntik na ko pumunta sa sasakyan para umidlip muna. Kaya lang I know na I needed to be there para I could ready myself na rin in the deliverance.

Deliverance kase is simply defined as "a rescue from bondage or danger". There are many different types of evil spirits kase with different characteristics. We all are familiar with the 7 deadly sins right? Guess what, THERE'S MORE! Hindi ko alam pero as I walk my faith, I get to realize na demons are stronger than I THOUGHT they were. Merong spirit of infirmity, spirit of lying, spirit of fear, perverse spirit, jealous spirit, haughty spirit, and a platoon lot more. I knooow! SCARY talaga!

BTW, don't get me wrong here ha. DELIVERANCE IS NOT EXORCISM! A demon cannot possess/own somebody. Pwede lang nila tayo ma-occupy and it is us who can cast them out since we are empowered to do so.

You might ask me, "Chelle, why do you need to be delivered? May sa demonyo ka ba?"

Answer is, I am a part of the music ministry at our Church. I stand in front of the congregation to be an instrument of the Lord for them to reach the highest peak of praise and worship. If I myself is not worthy and not righteous in the eyes of my God, hindi ko magagampanan yung role ko as a music minister. GETS? And one more thing, yung mga nagmi-ministry kase, kitang kita sila, these people (including me) are the most prone sa evil spirits. I know, you must be raising your brows now and if you're finding this post kindda off, you can hit the x button anytime. But I would really appreciate it if you would hear me out. :)

The first part: LECTURE was veeeeeeery dragging. I was sleepy most of the time but I need to listen and stay awake for me to be prepared.

At around 6pm, the elders of the Church handed out pieces of papers. One paper each attendee. After which, sinabihan kami na isulat yung mga iba't-ibang spirits na feeling namin, meron kami. I wrote down spirit of lying, jealous spirit, spirit of blindness, spirit of bondage, spirit of heaviness and spirit of fear. I know I wrote like I think mga 8 yata.

After non, dinivide kami into 3. The kids and the youth, the young professionals and the adults. And then, group pa by 4's. In each group, may isang minister. We were given like 10mins to discuss within ourselves what is in that paper. I was already scared pre-deliverance pa lang. Alam ko na kase yung stories and yung mga nangyayari. I know what to expect, I just don;t know what to feel.

By 6:45, everyone stood up and we sang a worship song muna. Sobrang kinakabahan na talaga ako for some strange reason. And then nag-start na. The minister shouted "SPIRIT OF BONDAGE! Spirit of bondage! GO OUT! Wala kang karapatan sa katawang yan! GO OUT!" Nung narinig ko yun, I immediately cried together with all the people in the room I suppose. I will not elaborate na kung baket ako may spirit of bondage pero seryoso, may iba talagang feeling. BTW, hindi lang isa yung nagmiminister ha. All the Church elders together with the ministry coordinators and Pastors were there (except my Dad). And then "SPIRIT OF FEAR! UMALIS KA! SPIRIT OF FEAR!" When spirit of fear was called to leave, I was bawling. Sobrang non-stop iyak talaga! Inisip ko lahat ng fears ko, and I casted them all out. I know I have to say it loudly na I cast them out pero mejo nahihirapan rin ako kase inuubo ako for weeks na. One spirit was called to leave after another. I was hearing my brother shouting, my kidsister who is just 9y/o was also screaming. I really am out of words to describe what happened.

May time pa na kinailangan ko mag-kneel kase sobrang nakakapagod. To think what I have to do was to speak. Gaya ng sinabi ko kanina, evil spirits were stronger than I thought. But I am waaay more powerful than them. Oo, natakot ako. May nangyari pa na hindi ako makapagsalita sa sobrang iyak, but good thing, ministers were roaming around, helping us to SPEAK UP. I've heard  and speaked the words "in Jesus's name" so many times. You have no idea how strong and mighty those words are. Grabe, AMAZING!

Once in a while, I would check out the people around me. They were either lying on their backs, naka-dapa, naka-salampak sa floor or naka-luhod. LAHAT UMIIYAK. Some even puked. I was also blessed on how the ministers can discern whether the spirits have fled already.

As the deliverance went on, hindi na ako masyado natatakot. And then our head Pastor prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for a victorious battle with the devil. I TELL YOU, THE FEELING WAS SURREAL! I felt sooo tired yet revived at the same time. Imagine, who would have thought that I can fight the devil with just my faith in Jesus Christ and powerful words? I must be a princess in heaven after all. ANAK NG DIYOS, sabi nga.

When we got home, nakwento namin kay Daddy lahat and he was so happy and blessed. I asked him "Da, totoo bang nakikita nyo yung mga spirits?" and he said "Oo naman". I was surprised. He never told us he can see these mad crazy demons. Nakakaloka!

I just pray na God would sustain me. He knows my heart, the deepest part of this heart sings for Him and Him alone. I know, 'cause I was designed that way.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

- Jesus Christ

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